


Even Though It Hurts

by daelisix



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Blame the compact live, Cafe noona with the name of kongchu girl, F/M, Fluff, I smile, Jaehyungparkian, M/M, a sprinkle of the trilogy mv, collapsedone is here, jaepil, just probably, make out, probably a lot of make out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2020-02-23 20:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daelisix/pseuds/daelisix
Summary: Wonpil caught Jae crying one night. He tried to figure out what the reason was, or who. When he did, a heavy weight constantly rested on his chest. He's feeling pain knowing that Jae was hurting, and it hurt more because the reason of Jae's pain came back.Jae was broken. And Younghyun coming back to his life did not make it any better. He was an ex-best friend. It was supposed to stay that way.Is it too late for Jae and Younghyun? Or is it a start for Jae and Wonpil? They're all hurting, but all they can do is smile and pretend that they're okay.-Or a university au where Jae sings I Smile, sounding fragile and broken, and Wonpil sings with him, his gentle voice wrapping the older with warmth and comfort.





	1. It Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps I cried listening to Jaepil's compact live. Yeah, blame that compact live. I've been meaning to post this fic since I've heard Jae's "oraenmaniya" from thag video but work and adulting are constantly happening and keep getting in the way. Hahaha.jk. not really jk.  
> -  
> Anyway, Lee Woomin is a.k.a. collapsedone, i miss him and /whispers/ i still have a big crush on him. Someone bring him back to twitter pls. Haha.
> 
> Also, I don't know the cafe noona's name so I used Huiryoung (Kongchu girl) instead.

Wonpil shifts his eyes from the drowning words in front of him, which is the essay due tomorrow, to Jae who suddenly enters the room, looking like he just got off from his duty from carrying the world on his back even if it's just his guitar strapped around his shoulder the only thing that he's carrying. Dark circles starting to show under his eyes. His blond hair is disheveled and his shoulders are dropped. He looks like he's dragging himself to his bed.

"You look horrible," Wonpil states as he drops his pen, rests his arm on the backrest of his chair and tilts his body to face Jae. "Were you at the clubroom?"

"Yeah," Jae utters with a hoarse voice as he puts his guitar down.

"You sound horrible, too." Wonpil knits his eyebrows as Jae flops on his bed without landing a single glance at the younger. "Don't tell me you went all out singing and--"

"You're noisy. I'm gonna sleep."

"You haven't washed up yet."

Instead of answering, Jae shifts, making his back face the younger. That's Wonpil's cue to finally keep mum. He quietly lets out a breath and focuses back on his essay.

For the next two hours, despite saying he'd sleep, Jae is wide awake and keeps on shifting his position. Wonpil pretends to not notice until he hears a muffled sob.

"Hyung?"

Jae traps a cry to prevent the younger to hear more of his weeping. Wonpil stares at his back and without getting any response from the older, he tries to put his attention back to his notes. He finished his essay an hour ago and now he's working on his report for next week.

The next day, Wonpil wakes up in an empty room. No trace of Jae. He checks the day, it's Thursday. The older doesn't have class until ten and he's supposed to be sleeping until eight like he usually does during this schedule but he's not there.

He checks the clubroom at around lunchtime but no one's around either. He thinks the older must be in the library but he's also not there. Neither in the gym when he thought he'd see him playing basketball.

Night time came and he fixes dinner for both of them. Seven minutes before ten, he can't hold his hunger any longer so he eats without Jae. At almost midnight, the older finally shows up. His dark circles are now evident.

"Hyung I made di--" the next words are left hanging when he suddenly smells something. He sniffs. "You drank?"

Jae waves his hand as if dismissing any query from the younger and walks straight toward the bathroom.

After showering, Jae flops himself on his bed and instantly closes his eyes to sleep. But just like last night, he couldn't.

It's been just a year since they became roommates but Wonpil knows it when Jae pretends to be asleep. He knows when to stop pushing a topic because the older doesn't want to talk about it. He knows when to ask. Last night, Jae was a close door. Tonight is no different.

But Wonpil couldn't just stay put and leave the older be crying himself to sleep. He knows the older wouldn't say anything about what's happening yet, but he wants to do something for him.

Few minutes after one in the morning, Wonpil slips himself slowly beside the older. The bed shifts from his weight but the older doesn't budge, as if he's deep in his sleep.

"Hyung," Wonpil calls out softly but the older continues to pretend to be asleep. "Hyung, I know you're awake."

"What do you want?"

Wonpil leans his back on the headboard, slips one arm under Jae's neck and puts the other arm around him, enveloping the older in an embrace.

“What are you--”

"Shh." Wonpil taps him softly, like a mother trying to make her baby sleep. "Just close your eyes."

Jae doesn't know why but instead of throwing a remark at the younger like he usually does, he finds himself following what he said. He relaxes as his eyes slowly close.

He falls asleep two minutes after. Wonpil smiles to himself when he hears the older's soft breathing. He stays for twenty more minutes, making sure that Jae won't wake up and have trouble going to sleep again before he stands up to settle himself on his own bed.

When Wonpil wakes up the next day, Jae is still sleeping soundly. Even after getting ready to leave for school, the older hasn't still gotten out of dreamland.

He lets Jae stay on his bed since he doesn't have class until after lunch.

At five, Wonpil is on his way to the clubroom and sees Jae talking to Jieun, the older's girl best friend. He breathes in as he unconsciously tightens his grip on the notebook in his hand.

When Jae walks away, Wonpil realizes he needs to get moving, too. Jieun sees him and she waves hi. The lady walks toward him with a bright smile.

"Club?"

Wonpil nods and holds his music notebook up, returning Jieun's beam.

"I was just talking with Jae. He's going there now, too."

Wonpil tries to recall Jae's face when he saw him talking to Jieun a while ago. He still kind of looked tired and his eyes were still bothered. But it wasn't because of Jieun, who he kind of had feelings with.

Jieun is Jae's childhood best friend but at one point, Jae thought their relationship could be a little more than that. Because that's how it usually is, right? A boy and a girl who grew up together, practically know everything about each other, inseparable and as they undergo adolescence, they'll soon realize that they can't really live without each other. Then happily ever after.

But maybe it's just in books and movies. Or maybe in some people's cases but not with Jae and Jieun. The blond never told the lady about it. Besides, what for? To make things awkward between them? It was just a thought anyway. Thought that he embraced which made him feel _things_ and see the lady in a different light. And another thing: Jieun has a boyfriend. The club president of the music club, where he and Jae are members of.

Although Jae's eyes were kind of hallow, Wonpil's guts were telling him it's not because of the girl in front of him right now.

"Yeah, I think I saw him, too. You're not coming?"

"Nahh." She scrunches her nose. "I have club activities, too. I'll see you at the café later."

Wonpil arches his brows. "Café?"

Jieun rolls her eyes and tilts her head. Her wavy black hair smoothly follows with her head movement.

"Oh, yeah. That café where your cousin works?"

Jieun nods and waves Wonpil goodbye as she proceeds to walk. The latter continues on his tracks, too.

 _If it's not Jieun, then who? Or maybe what?_ He sighs.

Wonpil almost jumps when a weight suddenly drops on his head. Someone hits him with a notebook.

"Head up or you'll bump into something."

"Pres."

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he smiles. "No worries. I talked with your girlfriend just a moment ago anyway."

"I know," Sungjin says as he turns the knob of their clubroom.

Jae is already there, sitting with his guitar on his lap. He doesn't even look up. His fingers dance around the guitar's neck then he stops and writes something on the notebook in front of him.

"Where's Dowoon?" Sungjin asks as he gets his guitar and strap it around him.

"He said he'll just pass some papers to his professor before heading here."

As if on cue, the door flips open and reveals their drummer.

"Are you rearranging the piece?" Sungjin queries Jae.

"Yeah. I just adjusted the hook a bit."

"Oh really?" Sungjin's eyebrows dance in mirth. "Let me hear it."

Jae obliges. He situates his hands on the guitar and starts playing. His head moves along to the rhythm.

Sungjin's eyes are pierced on Jae's fingers, eyebrows knit together, ears are open to listen well to the older's new arrangement.

Wonpil grips on his chair as tight as his chest feels. He's biting his lips as his eyes are also focused on the blond but not on his fingers but his face. Jae's eyes are closed as if he's trying to inline his heart with the melody.

"I like it," the club president declares. "I think it became more…" Sungjin squints his eyes as he thinks of a word.

"Sentimental," Wonpil chimes in.

"Yeah, more sentimental."

Jae plasters a tight smile. "I got help from our club adviser."

"Professor Lee?" Dowoon quizzes.

"Yeah. Since he's a composer and used to be a producer."

As if summoned, Professor Lee knocks thrice and opens the door.

"How's it going?" He asks Jae in English.

"It's great, Hyung." He beams. "They like it, too."

Lee Woomin nods. They had an agreement that they'd call him 'Hyung' when not in class. He likes it better since he also lived in New York and makes him feel a little less older than them. He turns to Sungjin.

"How about bassist? You found one already?"

Wonpil's eyes shift back to Jae by chance and see the blond's eyes waver. His forehead furrows. Was it just his imagination?

"None yet. But I got someone willing to help us practice until we find someone."

"Okay. But you need to find one fast. Performance is in two months and time flies fast."

"I understand, Hyung." Sungjin nods. He turns to Wonpil when Professor Lee leaves. "How about the lyrics? We good?"

"Yeah." The brunette nods slowly. Yes, the lyrics are done but something's kind of bothering him. Something doesn't sit right. He's not satisfied with the current lyrics. He feels like he can still do more. There's gotta be more.

 

After two hours, they meet with Jieun at the cafe.

"Iced cafe mocha, iced americano with an extra shot, cafe latte, vanilla latte, and strawberry smoothie," Jieun announces proudly after she puts the drinks on their table with her cousin, Huiryoung.

"Wow, you know our preferences," Dowoon states in amazement and Jieun shrugs with a smug.

Jae looks up at Huiryoung and chats with her for a moment. Wonpil observes. It's not her either. Jieun's cousin, who Jae also had a crush on. He can still remember last year how the older would drag him to this cafe just to take a glimpse of the pretty lady. What he felt for the older woman then was stronger than what he felt for Jieun, that Wonpil even thought he'd pursue her.

"Jieun-ah," someone calls out. "Noona!" He also greets Huiryoung.

Jae stiffens. It's subtle but with Wonpil’s eyes on him, the younger notices the change on his expression. His eyes waver again like they did at the music room. Wonpil slowly shifts his gaze to the person who just came in.

"It's been a while, guys."

Black hair. Fox-like eyes. Cheeky smile. Perfect white teeth. Mole under the lip.

No doubt.

It's their former bassist.

"Younghyun-hyung!" Dowoon exclaims.

Wonpil sees Jae's lips stretch into a wide smile as he turns to look at the fox-eyed. It's a mask. His chest feels heavy again.

It's him.

He's the reason why Jae has been _off_ for two days.

Kang Younghyun. Bassist. Songwriter. Composer. Dancer. Human trumpet. Adam Lavigne of their school. Jae's ex best friend. Jae's former roommate.

"Brian! Bro!"

The tiny voices telling him there's something more before are now whispering to him again. But his assumptions remain assumptions.

Maybe it's just an ex-best friend thing. Maybe Jae doesn't have romantic feelings for the bassist. Maybe. Hopefully.

Despite the weight on his chest, Wonpil beams, too. "Been a while, Hyung! You must treat us today!"

When the day ends, he doesn't need to force himself to smile anymore. He clutches his chest and breathes heavily as his eyes dart on Jae's back, who's lying on his bed, facing the wall.

What is he feeling now? How was he feeling earlier? Is he crying again? Is he having trouble sleeping? Wonpil wonders.

He feels his heart banging strongly against his chest like it wants to go out. He closes his eyes and episodes from today replay on his mind.

He immediately grabs his pencil and jots down some words: It's been a while. Hurt. Smile. Pretend. Okay.

He stares at the words for almost a minute before he flips a page and his pencil starts to vomit the words from his heart.

This is it. This is what he was looking for. He closes his eyes as he recalls their practice earlier. In his mind, he puts his newly written lyrics with the music they played together.

Then despite the pricking on his chest, he smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why was Jae 'off'? Why did YK suddenly come back? See you on chapter two :)


	2. I Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae and Younghyun tries to make things back to normal but the invisible barrier between them is just too thick for them to break through. One thing is clear though: they're both hurting. Oh, and another thing, they want their intimacy back. Jae feels so broken and lost again, it's evident when he sings the newly written lyrics of their keyboardist, Wonpil. But when the latter starts to sing, the pain is slowly fading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched the compact live when I was writing the last part and guess who cried? Jae's voice. Mygaaahd, the way he sang "jal jinaego itneun cheok" tore my heart.

Jae wakes up with a weight on his abdomen. His eyes flicker as he takes a look at the brunette’s arm on him. He shifts his head to take a glimpse of the younger. He gazes at the younger’s eyelashes before he averts his eyes.

He now remembers Wonpil positioning himself last night beside him. He had trouble sleeping again but just like the other night, he was pulled into the land of dreams just a few minutes after the brunette encloses him in his arms.

Last Wednesday, he decided to go to the Daydream Cafe to grab some caffeine for Professor Lee. Huiryoung then told Jae that Younghyun dropped by ten minutes before he arrived.

Just hearing the bassist's name already had an effect on Jae. Knowing he could've bumped into him if he had come earlier didn’t lessen the effect even a bit. It worsened, in fact. He hasn’t heard anything from the fox-eyed for seven months.

Younghyun decided to take a gap year right before the second semester of last year started but he was still in contact with them right before the semester ended. Jae constantly texted him for a week and a half but never got a reply.

During the first months of Younghyun's break, something shifted between them. It must be Jae developing feelings for the younger but the fox-eyed never knew about it. So he wasn’t really sure what happened. Something just… changed. Maybe because it was his first time embracing the idea of him being with another person of the same sex. And maybe, just maybe, Younghyun had a hint of what he was feeling. Who knows? He doesn’t. He wants to find out.

Jae felt so disarrayed since he lost contact with the fox-eyed. He was just starting to organize his sentiments towards him. It’s like assessing the new emotions his feeling towards another man has become his daily goal. And suddenly it’s gone. So he didn’t know what to do about it. Where to put those feelings that have bottled up. Should he throw them away or keep them in the corner of his heart? He felt so lost and was left without a map nor a compass to guide.

Then when he was just starting to be on tracks again, go on another adventure, the destination he wanted to arrive to suddenly surfaced. Now he’s standing in the middle of the old road he was walking on and the other road opposite from it. Which road should he take?

_Why did you come back?_ _Why did you leave in the first place?_ His chest feels like it’s being trampled on. His eyes are starting to feel hot. Then Wonpil suddenly shifts and groans softly. Jae flips his eyes shut right before the brunette looks up at his face. Wonpil notices the corner of the older’s eye is a little damp like a tear was teasing to form.

Wonpil heaves a soft sigh and tightens his hold of the older. Jae opens his eyes, knowing that Wonpil wasn’t deceived of his pretense.

“I won’t ask, Hyung,” Wonpil whispers. “If you’re not ready; if you don’t want to talk about it, then don’t. No one’s forcing you. Just don’t try to conceal it and make it harder for you. If you feel heavy and hurt, I can just hug you to ease the pain even for a little. No questions.”

And with that, Jae relaxes. He lets out a soft long breath in relief. He doesn’t voice it but the brunette’s hug really lessens the pain. Not just for a little but a whole lot. So they stay like that for a couple more minutes. Jae staring at the bed slat of the upper bunk of their bed and Wonpil with his eyes close, clinging on the older.

Jae’s phone rings making him jump in surprise for a bit. Sungjin is calling. He reaches for his device and Wonpil doesn’t even budge.

“In case you forget or planning to be a burrito in bed all day, or play a game, I just want to remind you that we have a practice at my place later.”

Jae exhales a sharp breath. Yeah, practice. The reason why Sungjin made them gather at the cafe yesterday was because of Younghyun. He was the one who’d help them practice until they find another bassist, whom Sungjin was talking with Lee Woomin about. When Jieun announces the name of their drinks yesterday, he wanted to ask who wanted the iced americano with an extra shot because, among them, Younghyun is the only one who drinks that. He should’ve known then that the bassist was coming. But he didn’t want to disappoint himself if that wasn’t the case. Jokes on him, though, because Younghyun really showed up.

They also asked the fox-eyed why they suddenly couldn’t get a hold of him. Younghyun just shrugs and replied with “Vacation.”

“I know, I know," Jae rolls his eyes as if Sungjin could see it from the other line.

“Then see you later.”

Just when Jae is about to put his phone aside, it buzzes.  _ Was the call not enough?  _ He silently groans as he takes a look at the gadget.

He stares at it for a moment. Wonpil, feeling curious, takes a peek.  _ Brian _ , the name is displayed on the screen. Wonpil shifts his eyes and gets up.

“We better start the day now.” He stands up. “Breakfast?”

Jae fixes his eyes on his phone and opens the message.

**Hey, been a while but… breakfast?**

“No, I’m good,” he replies to the younger and Wonpil hides his disappointment. “May I use the bathroom first?” He hops out of his bed after sending a response to the fox-eyed.

“Sure. Go ahead,” Wonpil mutters.

He meets with Younghyun an hour and a half after at a restaurant near their dorm. Younghyun was the one who picked the place. Their bacon and steak are Jae’s favorites.

“Hey!” The bassist flashes his perfect white teeth. He stands up and gives the blond a brotherly hug then returns to his seat.

“Yo,” Jae plasters a tight smile.

“I already ordered, is that okay? Bacon and steak? I also added pancakes.”

The corners of Jae’s lips lift. “You still remember, huh?”

“Of course,” Younghyun states and suddenly they fall in silence, eyes are locked.

They both study each other’s gaze as if trying to talk with just their eyes. Younghyun leans back and exhales softly.

“What happened to us, Jae?”

The blond’s jaw slowly drops and his eyes falter. He’s a little taken aback. He has expected that they’d talk about it but not this soon. He thought they’d catch up with each other first, beat around the bush for a while, and when it feels like they’re both out of questions to ask and story to tell, one of them would bring the topic up. But it hasn’t even been five minutes since Jae arrived. He mirrors the intensity of Younghyun’s stare. Then their food comes. Neither of them breaks their eye contact.

“Thank you,” Younghyun pronounces to the attendant, eyes still on Jae.

Jae takes a gulp after the server leaves their table. He moistens his lips and folds them into a thin line before letting out a not-so-sharp breath. “I don’t know,” he finally states. “I really don’t know.” He shakes his head, shifting his eyes for a moment and looks back at the younger. “We just… Slowly drift apart, I guess?” He lets out a dry chuckle while Younghyun’s jaw tightens as he nods. Jae continues to mumble. “I don’t even know if we’re best friends, you know? I mean,” he shrugs, “before when people would ask me about you I’d say  _ ‘Yeah, I know him. He’s my best friend.’  _ But these past months, it felt weird to say or even just think about it--that we’re best friends. You just suddenly vanished, you know? I don’t even know now what we are or what we had. Are we friends? Bandmates? Clubmates? Acquaintances?”

_ Potential lovers? _ Jae traps the words in his throat. He doesn’t need to voice that out, does he?

They both stare at their food for a moment. Jae looks up again and throws the question back at the fox-eyed.

“What happened to us, Bri?”

Younghun purses his lips as he fumbles on the fork handle. “I also don’t know.” He shrugs. “One day I just woke up and something changed. I thought it was just me but then when we saw each other, it was like a mutual feeling. It’s as if an invisible barrier suddenly surfaced between us.” He looks Jae straight in the eyes. “And both of us seemed to want to reach out, figure what’s happening, but we just kept on testing the waters and never really submerged into it.”

Jae sighs sharply. “It’s too early for this, Bri. Can we just eat first? And perhaps catch up? We just saw each other after seven damn months.”

Younghyun straightens up. “Yeah, right. I’m sorry.” He stares at Jae again, contemplating to hold back another thing he wants to say or just let it out. He goes for the latter. “I just really wanted to know what happened if it’s not yet too late to fix things ‘cause I really missed you.”

The blond’s throat goes dry. He tries to swallow the lump that formed in his throat and breathes out. “Ditto.”

They proceed to eat breakfast. True to their words, they fill each other up with what has been happening in their lives the past months. Just like Younghyun has said, there’s an invisible wall between them. And they’re trying to break through it now by spending time with each other, sharing stories, listening to one another animatedly, smiling and laughing like nothing happened; like Younghyun’s disappearance didn’t actually happen. But also like what the fox-eyed has said, it’s like they’re just testing the waters and not actually submerging into it. They’re trying. They want everything to be just like what they were before. They want their intimacy back. But despite being just a few feet away from each other, it feels like they’re a mile apart or there’s a hallow road between them and if they try to take another step, they’d both fall and make the casualties worse.

They go to the park near their old school afterward. There are a lot of dead airs as they talk. They both think if it was also like that before. Did they have dead airs or did they never run out of topic to talk about? If there were also silence filling them before, they both knew that they took comfort in those silent moments. But now, it just feels awkward. Like there’s a need to talk nonstop.

When they arrive at Sungjin’s place after eating ramen for lunch, Wonpil and Dowoon are already there. Wonpil’s smile almost fades when he sees the two ex-best friends enter Sungjin’s flat together.

_ So they were together all morning? _ He moistens his lip before plastering his usual wide smile. “It’s good to have you around again, Hyunnie!”

Younghyun beams. “It’s temporary though. Did you start practicing already?”

“No, we just tried Wonpil’s new lyrics,” Sungjin states.

“Oh,” Jae bats his eyelashes, “we got new lyrics?”

“Yeah. Personally, I think this one’s better. Your new arrangement’s more sentimental than the old one and Wonpil’s made the lyrics more emotional, too. I think it fits.”

“But, it’s not yet done, though.” The keyboardist pouts.

“May I see?” Younghyun queries and Wonpil gives him his notebook.  “ Half excitement and half fear,” the bassist starts to read, “I still miss you and I don't want you to notice that.”

Jae flips his head after hearing the words. Wonpil feels a slice on his chest. It’s what probably Jae feels for the fox-eyed, he thinks. The guitarist draws closer to Younghyun, resting his arm on the younger’s shoulder, to take a peek on the keyboardist’s newly written lyrics.

_ Is this what he was working on last night? _ Jae stares at the sheet. “This  _ Today, I smile  _ part, is this the chorus?”

“Yeah.”

Jae nods and tries to associate the melody with the words in almost whisper.  “ Today, I smile. Even though it hurts, I smile. When I'm with you as if nothing happened, as if I'm doing fine. I have to.” He stops singing but his eyes stay darted on the paper. His mouth is a little agape as he stares and scans each word he just sang and recalls his old times with Younghyun and how different they were to the hours they spent together this morning. “I like it,” he shifts his gaze and walks toward one of the guitars. He sits on the floor and positions the guitar on his lap. He looks at Wonpil and shows his thumbs up. “Let’s go with this.” He looks up at Sungjin for confirmation but the club president is hesitating.

“I like it, too. But it’s not yet done, though.”

“Shall I help?” They all turn to look at the fox-eyed. He spits lyrics like it’s no big deal, they all know that but they trusted Wonpil with it so they’re not sure if they’d let the bassist help with it.

“Pleasure’s ours, Mr. Lyric Genius,” Wonpil remarks and others’ eyes shift on him. Wonpil returns Sungjin’s gaze as if telling him not to worry. “I have some words I want to use. I listed them on the previous page."

For the next twenty minutes, they settle down and Younghyun helps the keyboardist finish the lyrics. Wonpil sings it for them after. Jae gets the notebook and tries to sing it, too.

“Do you want to sing it together, Hyung?” Wonpil asks and Jae just stares.

Sungjin urges the blond. So he’s seated beside the brunette behind the keyboard. The lyrics aren’t hard to memorize especially when they just finished writing it, and they just sang it less than five minutes ago. So Wonpil closes his eyes and starts to hit the keys. When he opens them, he just looks down and follows the movements of his hands.

“It’s been a while,” Jae starts to sing, their chests feel pricking at the same time because Jae relates to the song and because Wonpil knows that it’s what the other is actually feeling. The way the guitarist sings it, too, and how he intones it in a bit raspy voice, sounding delicate and broken, causes the piercing on the brunette’s heart. “I didn't know you'd be reaching out before I would. You're saying let's meet up if time works out. How could I say no to that?“

When it’s Wonpil’s turn to sing, he abruptly draws close to the mic and flips his eyes shut.  “ Half excitement and half fear,” contrary to how Jae sounded, like fragile and crushed, Wonpil’s voice is soothing as if caressing everyone in the room. It’s like they compliment each other’s voice. That or Jae really does feel broken, making it evident in his voice, and Wonpil is trying to comfort the other and wrap the older in the warmth of his voice, like how he’s been wrapping the blond to fall asleep at night when he couldn’t. As Jae thinks about the emotion that the keyboardist conveys through his voice, he leans a little bit towards the younger and suddenly the heaviness he’s been feeling slowly fades.  “I still miss you and I don't want you to notice that.”

“ Today, I smile,” Jae sings the chorus. Wonpil’s eyes are still closed as he continues to hit the keys. Both of their eyes are shut. Jae’s body is moving along as he sings.  “ Even though it hurts, I smile. When I'm with you, as if nothing happened, as if I'm doing fine,” the way he sings the last line, adds stabbing to the brunette’s chest. It sounded like he’s just about to break even more. The keyboardist doesn’t look up but just furrows his forehead subtly. “I have to.”

Wonpil leans to the microphone again. “I smile,” he intones. His voice is smoothly caressing Jae’s heart and the latter slowly sways as he listens to the younger’s voice.  “ I smile.” Jae holds his mic closer to his mouth to sing the next line with the keyboardist. “This could only be sometimes that I get to see you.” He slowly puts his hand down, looks away, relaxes, and lets the brunette sing the next line. “I have to, I smile.”

Unlike when Jae was singing earlier, feeling like a load was put on his chest, his countenance became soft when the keyboardist sang for the second time. He thinks about how he’s able to fall asleep comfortably when the brunette is beside him and how he felt less in pain because of his embrace this morning, how his voice suddenly made him feel at ease as if he didn’t feel broken when he started singing.

As Wonpil moves his hands away from the keyboard, he moistens his lips, and still with eyes closed, he let out a soft breath slowly. Jae, on the other hand, is staring at nothing in particular, still lost in his thoughts. He realizes that it wasn’t just these past days that the brunette has been by his side and comforted him. He was there when he rambled about how he and Jieun could’ve been more than childhood best friends. He was there when he drank after finding out that Huiryoung was engaged. He was there when he was left hanging in the air when they suddenly lost touch of Younghyun. Even in little things: when his pancake wasn’t cooked well; when his amplifier was acting up; when he lost a game. He was there every time he was down, broken, damaged, lost. He never realized it but he always confides in the keyboardist. Even when he doesn’t feel like opening up, the younger still manages to comfort him.

“Wow,” and suddenly, that voice pulls him back from his reverie. Younghyun claps. “I’m… speechless.”

“Do you guys have problems or something?” Sungjin quizzes. “The emotion you conveyed when you sing, wow!” He shakes his head from disbelief and amazement.

“I feel like crying. Jae’s voice sounded so broken and hurt.” Dowoon comments. Jae and Younghyun lock eyes for a brief moment from the youngest’s remark.

Jae suddenly smiles at him. Younghyun’s chest tightens. It’s Jae’s first genuine smile at him since they saw each other again yesterday.

_ I feel… light.  _ Jae glances at the keyboardist who doesn’t return his gaze. He smiles at him even if the younger doesn’t look at him.  _ Thank you.  _ He wants to voice but he keeps mum and lets the smile sits on his face for the next hours.


	3. A Day Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Younghyun can't help but notice how Jae and Wonpil got closer and more intimate. As he looks back, he asks himself if he's too late to finally take the chance with Jae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Day Late by Anberlin  
> This song helped me make this story. Hehehehhehehehee.
> 
> I did not proofread. And I'll sleep now coz it's almost 3am and I'm still kind of sick.

Younghyun’s eyes are pinned on the wall as his mind wanders. He’s been spinning the pen that he’s holding for quite a while now. There’s that heavy load on his chest and it feels like someone’s squeezing his heart. It must be Monday blues. But he knows deep inside, it’s not because it’s another start of a week.

His mind travels back to last Saturday where he was sitting at the exact same chair, looking at two people singing sentimentally, the same people his eyes land on now. He stops spinning the pen and grips it instead. He recalls Jae’s subtle smile of satisfaction as his eyes were darted on the floor while his ears were focused on listening to Wonpil’s voice.

His chest tightens more. The heavy load is getting heavier as he watches the two young men talking as if they’re in their own bubble, filled with sweetness and charm. Like it’s all pink.

He doesn’t know how close the two are; if they got closer after their practice last Saturday or if they’re just close like this even before. Jae can’t seem to get his hands off the brunette. Even though he tries to do it in a natural way, Younghyun knows better. When Jae rested his arm on Wonpil’s shoulder before he pointed at the notebook in front of them earlier, the fox-eyed knew Jae just wanted to feel the brunette, if not hold him.

Younghyun also notices how Jae's eyes keep on lingering on the keyboardist and how soft his smiles are as the blond looks at the younger with adoration.

When they talked at the restaurant that Saturday morning, he had a little ray of hope in him that they'd reconcile, to start again or maybe to finally start something new--something they were both hesitant about.

He doesn't know if Jae and Wonpil are aware of how they look at each other. He doesn't know if the two young men in front of him can see how their eyes are practically becoming heart-shaped when they land on each other.

But yes, Jae is aware. And so does Wonpil. Only that, they are aware of their own selves and still kind of oblivious how the other feels.

Hearing Wonpil's voice that day made Jae think of a lot of things: how the brunette would always aid him; how he would always be by his side; how he would be careful with his words when Jae is in a sensitive mood; how he would show him his bright smile to lighten him up; how he would tease and annoy him at times but at the end of the day, he would always give Jae the assurance that he did well; how he would take care of him every time he would get drunk and sick; how he would silently console him every time he has a break up; how he would make him feel secured that he's enough, that he's doing great.

Jae has so many insecurities that Wonpil knows about. It's not like Jae gave him a list or made him sit and listen to all of it, but that's why it's amazing because they don't even need words to understand each other.

Jae used to feel he's not enough and would think so little of himself. One thing he used to do to make him feel secure was having a girlfriend. But maybe that even made it worse. He had so many flings and breakups now that he thinks he will never be good enough for even a single person to stay.

Younghyun was the final blow.

Their start wasn’t as smooth as they expected it to be. When Jae met the fox-eyed and learned that he lived overseas made him think that they’d initially click but what happened was otherwise. They kept on clashing and quarreling, they would fight on every single little thing: who would turn the lights off, how cold the room should be, whose playlist to blast.

English, which was supposed to be a medium for communication to get closer to each other, has become an instrument to annoy one another.

As they fought everyday though, they've gotten to know each other. And as time passed, they've become considerate with each other. Eventually, they became best buddies.

They couldn't stand each other at first but they became inseparable until they caught feelings for each other.

Both were afraid and a little unsure. Just the fact that one swings the other way might affect their friendship. How much more if he developed feelings for the other?

Unsure of what the other would think, and being aware of their own feelings, walls started to build up.

When Younghyun was offered to take a break and spend time with his family before he could get any busier, he took it as an opportunity to clear his mind. Maybe he'd get answers on what he's supposed to do when he'd get time to be away from Jae, he thought. Or maybe he'd realize it was all in his head, an illusion clouding his mind because it felt like he's loving his _friend_ too much.

What he'd do and sacrifice for Jae were things he'd do for a girlfriend. Most of the time, Jae would even seem more than a lover than his own girlfriend.

When he was on a date and Jae sent a message saying he needed help, he didn't even think twice to leave his girlfriend and dashed to the blond. When he was asked about how his day was, it was all 'I did this with Jae, I did that with Jae.' When his girlfriend would want to have a bite on his food, he'd give her so little but he'd even buy Jae a meal so the guitarist could eat a large amount instead of just sharing with him. When Jae broke an ankle during a basketball game, he left in the middle of the class to make sure that the older was not hurt too much.

He was dumped for that reason. "It seems like you're dating Jae and not me. So why don't you just do it, then?" That's what his ex-girlfriend told him and that's what made him wake up and think that maybe Jae was more than his best bud.

Now he's thinking if he's too late. If he hadn't been a coward, would he be the one that Jae is looking at with a soft gaze right now? If he came back a little earlier, would they have their chance?

"I didn't know you're this close to Wonpil," Younghyun speaks up when the keyboardist left the room to pee.

Jae plasters a gentle smile. With a shrug, he answers, "A lot of things happened." He glances at the door over his shoulder. "We weren't really that close. But I guess there's just something about him that pulls a person to adore him. It kind of feels like I'm under a spell but I won't mind nor bother to break it for the rest of my days."

"You…" Younghyun's eyes sharpen, "...adore him? Adore him as the keyboardist? A singer?"

"A person. A man." Jae beams.

It really feels like he's under a spell. The moment Jae's eyes became more open after his heart was caressed by the brunette's warm voice, what he felt for Younghyun was gone in a blink of an eye.

He didn't know if it's even possible. His heart was grieving for several months, how could it be gone in just a snap of fingers? It made him think what was all the crying and getting drunk about. Did he really feel that hurt? Did he really long for the fox-eyed? But most importantly, did he really love him like how he thought he did? If it was gone in an instant, is it possible that it wasn't there in the first place? He doesn't really know. He's not sure. The only thing he's certain about is that he appreciates Wonpil more now, that he wants to make the keyboardist feel special, that he wants to take care of him.

For the next days, they still wake up beside each other. Wonpil has been sleeping on the older's bed because Jae would tell him he can't sleep. So he'd wrap him in his arms until Jae didn't even need to tell him to sleep beside him and he would just take initiative.

When Wonpil would wake up in the middle of the night, he'd sometimes get his arms off of the blond and shift his position. Every time he hasn't completely lose consciousness and being pulled back to sleep, he'd feel the older scoot on his back. Every time that happens, he'd think that Jae wants his arm back on him again. Or maybe the older wants to put his arm on Wonpil, too. Just maybe. But it makes Wonpil wonder how it feels like to be hugged in your sleep.

Wednesday of the following week, he lies down beside the blond but does not snake his arm around his abdomen. He even makes his back face the older. When Wonpil wakes up in the middle of the night, it's just in time that Jae slowly drapes his arm on him. His heart flutters and he can't prevent his lips to stretch into a smile.

For the next two nights, Wonpil did the same thing. His back facing the older and hoped he'd embrace him again as they sleep. And Jae did.

"I want to be a burrito all day," Jae mutters on a lazy Saturday morning.

"Unfortunately, you can't." Wonpil gets up and takes his laptop. "We have practice in the afternoon. Shall we watch a series as we wait for the time?" He queries as he settles back beside Jae and puts his laptop on the bed.

Wonpil lets Jae pick what they'll watch. Just three minutes after the first episode played, Jae rests his head on Wonpil's chest. The latter's heart jumps. Wonpil never expected Jae to initiate physical contact, especially an intimate one, when they're both conscious. He was already happy and satisfied that the blond is enclosing him in his arms at night that he didn't even foresee something like this to happen.

Younghyun can't help but notice how the two become closer and intimate with each other. Even if they are several feet away from each other, their gazes already scream intimacy. Something he and Jae had lost.

Another week starts. Monday comes again and Jae feels sick. It must be because they ran home as it was starting to rain the previous night.

When Wonpil’s alarm goes off, he reaches for his phone and he feels Jae's arm tighten around him. He slowly taps Jae's forearm and whispers, "I need to use the bathroom."

Jae lets him go and he does his thing. He takes a shower and prepares for school. He heats up the food that Jinyoung gave him late last night. He goes to check on Jae but his temperature is normal. But just in case, he prepares medicine and a glass of water, puts them beside the heated food.

"You need to eat so you can take your medicine." He tries to make Jae get up.

The blond only envelopes him in his arms. "Just lie here again beside me."

Wonpil smiles. As one of the people who used to refuse skinship with him, he never thought Jae would be clingy towards him.

"I can't. I have a presentation to do on my first subject today."

Jae scoots closer. "Please." His voice is a little hoarse and low.

Wonpil caresses Jae's head for a while. "I'd really like to, Jae." He looks at him and Jae feels his eyes on him so he tilts his head to look back at him. "But I really need to do the presentation or I might need to take this subject again next year.

They just stare at each other for a moment until Wonpil's gaze drop. Jae sees the movement of the brunette's eyes. The latter averts his gaze right after.

"I need to go now."

Jae holds him in place. "Do it."

Wonpil studies his face for a few seconds. "Do what?"

"What you thought of just a while ago."

"I--You don't know what I was even thinking, Jae."

"I know. Just do it."

"You won't like it if you knew."

"You'll never know if you won't try. What if I will?"

Wonpil sighs. "You'll regret that you asked."

"Just do it, Pil."

The brunette takes a gulp. His eyes scan Jae's smooth face. He tries to find hesitation in the blond's eyes but there was none. Then his gaze drops on the older's plump lips again. He looks back at Jae's eyes that are full of anticipation. He bends down to meet his lips and Jae instantly responds.

Jae's lips feel warm and tender. Wonpil slips an arm under Jae's neck as he places his other hand on the blond's jawline. Jae, on the other hand, tightens his arms on the younger's waist.

"Did it seem like I didn't like it?" Jae quizzes after they pulled away.

Wonpil groans. "You're making it hard for me to leave, Jae."

With a blink of an eye, Wonpil is already on top of him. One hand supporting his weight, and the other is on Jae's face. The latter's arms are encircled around the brunette's neck and they kiss again. Deeply. Like their chains of restraint just broke and they're finally free. Free to touch and explore each other's lips.

They are panting as someone knocks on their door.

"I guess that's my cue to leave."

Jae swiftly plants a peck. "Good luck on your presentation."

"Eat your breakfast, okay?" Wonpil gets off the bed. "Take your medicine, too."

"I'm fine now."

Wonpil shakes his head and with a wide grin, he turns the knob and flips the door open. A fox-eyed, good-looking and multi-talented young man stands in front of him. Suddenly, he feels like he was just punched on the stomach.

Younghyun paints a small smile. "Oh, hey…"

"Pil-ah," Jae's voice can be heard from inside the room. "Hurry back, okay? I want to sleep but you know I can't sleep without you, right?"

Younghyun feels like his intestines are twisting. But despite how awful he feels he still faces Wonpil and smiles at him again.


	4. Just Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, they act like a couple, except that they're not.  
> -  
> Or the chapter where Wonpil thought about their situation and wondered when it would last.  
> Could they just stay like this?
> 
> But he saw the older with the other and thought 'there goes my answer'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH! Yes, finally I updated this!!  
> As usual, didn't proofread.
> 
> Chapter song: Just Stay  
> https://open.spotify.com/track/7z5sbJrwvHv2oGrkkczkmz?si=W3bYUNrQRQWrZe-6gIo6ZA

Jae welcomes Wonpil with a hug when the latter got back at their dorm. The keyboardist was a little surprised when slender arms immediately enveloped him right after he closed their door.

The younger laughs and looks up at the older. “What’s with you?”

“Hmm?” Jae raises his brows and gazes innocently at Wonpil. He sways the younger along with his body as he continues to stare at him. “I’ve been waiting for you all day.”

A bright smile instantly flashes on Wonpil’s face. Jae feels as if his stomach is being tickled. Before a smile could show from his face, he pulls Wonpil closer and he leans down to meet the younger’s lips halfway. Although a little taken aback, the younger instantly responds and snakes his arms around the older’s neck. Jae, taking it as a sign of approval, deepens the kiss. His left hand travels from the younger’s back to the back of his head, pressing it closer to him as if they can still erase some space between their faces, and take steps forward, making the younger take few steps back until it hits the wall. Wonpil gasps a little from the sudden contact of his back with the concrete and Jae takes it as an opportunity to slip his tongue in the younger’s mouth. A soft moan escapes from the younger’s lips as his fingers grasp Jae’s hair. They continue for what feels like a minute before they slowly pull away and Jae’s left hand goes back to the back of the keyboardist’s waist to still trap him in his arms.

With forearms still resting on either side of Jae’s shoulders, Wonpil can’t help but beam at the older who was already smiling at him. They both giggle softly. Jae rests his forehead against the younger’s, their noses touching, as they are still both catching their breaths. His eyes are closed and Wonpil looks at his lashes for a moment before he closes his eyes, too. He then feels Jae’s head moving slowly from side to side, nose softly rubbing his own. He immediately pouts and puffs his cheeks, trying not to smile once more, trying not to show how he loves the gesture, trying not to make it evident that there’s a butterfly party in his tummy. His right hand clasps the neckline of Jae’s shirt.  _ Why does it seem so sweet? Why do we seem so intimate? _ He sighs and Jae’s plump lips land on his again for a peck.

 

-

 

Jae and Wonpil do really not need words to know what the other needs. Like when Jae ran out of shampoo and didn't get groceries, Wonpil came home with the goods that they needed in the dorm. His own personal needs, and not-so-surprisingly, Jae's, too. There was also a time that the brunette needed to stay up for another paperwork in his English subject and was struggling, Jae sat beside him, helped him and stayed up with him.

Of course, they know the  _ wants,  _ too. Like when Wonpil was on his way to the clubroom and he figured that Jae must be wanting to eat some tacos so he grabbed some before heading to practice. And that one time where the keyboardist was craving for some sweets and Jae gave him some from his bag, which he specifically stored just for the younger. Also, those times when one was itching to hold the other and collide their lips.

Basically, they act like a couple, except that they're not.

Younghyun's eyes follow the movement of Wonpil's hand that's holding chopsticks. He gives them to Jae and the latter pours him a cup of water. Even Sungjin notices.

In fact, Wonpil has always been like this. But somehow, it became more evident. Especially that Jae has been paying more attention to it and has been reciprocating it more lately.

Younghyun’s clenches his jaw unconsciously and when he’s about to get his chopsticks, he unintentionally knocks his glass of water down.

Typical Younghyun. Careless Younghyun.

Sungjin immediately puts the glass back up and takes a couple of tissues to wipe the table dry. Unconsciously again, Younghyun’s eyes are pulled toward Jae’s way for a fraction of moment and he feels his chest tightening. He is reminded by the time when Jae’s always the one to instantly take action of his carelessness but now, the guitarist just stares at the table blankly as he’s slowly chewing the food in his mouth. It’s as if his little bubble with Wonpil was just popped by the sudden commotion he made.

“Sorry,” he says under his breath and proceeds to eat quietly.

Jae looks at him, thinking how he’s been doing. Their intimacy might have been gone but Jae is still the one who knows him best. And at this very moment, Jae knows that their former bassist is bothered by something.

Wonpil glances at the oldest and follows his line of vision. His eyes land on Younghyun and he looks back at Jae for a second before focusing his eyes back at the food in front of him. There is a slight pang on his chest but he shrugs it off as Jae continues to eat.

 

An hour after they got back at their dorm, Jae groans, getting Wonpil’s attention. Taking a pause from writing, Wonpil glances at Jae who’s already staring at him with a pout, lying on his side.

“What’s wrong?”

Instead of answering, Jae taps the space before him. Wonpil puts down his pencil, situates his elbow on the table and rests his chin on his palm. “I need to finish this, Jae.” He sees Jae huffing an air out. “And why aren’t you studying? You know you could get banned from club activities if you get low grades, right?”

“I’m fine,” Jae says while getting up. “I study at the library during my free time so I could spend time with you at night.” Wonpil lowers his hand and his eyes follow the older who’s walking toward him. “Stand up.”

The brunette creases his forehead. “Why?”

Instead of responding, Jae taps Wonpil’s shoulder twice so the latter stands up, confused. Jae sits on Wonpil’s chair right away and pulls him to sit on his lap. The brunette suppresses a laugh as Jae encloses him in his arms.

“Just continue what you’re doing, I just want to be close to you,” Jae remarks as he situates his chin on the younger’s shoulder.

Wonpil picks his pencil up and gets back to writing an outline for one of his subjects but he can’t concentrate--not when Jae’s lips are planting soft kisses on his nape and the side of his neck. He suddenly feels the older sucking his skin so he tilts his head, trapping Jae’s between his head and shoulder.

“ _ Jae! _ ” He straightens back and Jae rests his chin on the brunette’s shoulder again. “That would leave a mark. And please refrain from kissing me. What I need tonight is to finish this outline, not a distraction.”

Jae just smirks and gives him a chaste kiss on the cheek. “I’ll stop. Continue studying, I won’t bother you.”

The brunette sighs and faces Jae, cupping his face and kisses him, slick and slow. Jae hums in approval and satisfaction but before they can even get lost in the moment, Wonpil pulls away. “You can just wait on the bed, I’ll join you in a while.”

Jae shakes his head and tightens his arms around the younger’s waist. “I’m fine here, I want to hold you. Just study.” He purses his lips, asking for one last kiss before he lets the brunette get back to studying so the younger obliges.

Just when Wonpil is about to write again, an image of a guy enters his mind. He remembers the little incident that happened during lunch. He feels his chest slowly tightening.

“What’s the matter?”

The keyboardist shakes his head but still stares blankly at his notes. He suddenly feels like he’s just punched in the gut. He thinks about their current position and the thought of Jae looking a little worried at their former bassist that noon will slip in his mind. His throat goes dry as his chest is getting heavier.

He faces Jae again. “Have you talked to Younghyun-hyung lately?”

“About?”

Wonpil shrugs. “I don’t know. About the two of you?” He sees how the older’s eyebrows knit as if he doesn’t have a clue about what he’s talking about. “I mean… I don’t know. Just anything…”

Jae shows a small smile before his lips reach for the younger’s forehead. “Kind of?” He tilts his head to look at the brunette’s face better. “But none of it matters anyway. I mean, we’re still friends.”

_ But it matters to me,  _ Wonpil wants to say but his lips remain closed. He smiles tightly as he drapes his arms around the older’s neck and rests his head on Jae’s.  _ I know you had feelings for him. I know he felt the same. And I don’t even know what we are.  _ He hugs the older tighter.  _ Do you still feel something for him? Am I just a pastime? An instrument to feed your pleasure? _ Before he can lose control of his emotions and before his thoughts can find their way out of his mouth, he connects their lips once again--deep and  _ bittersweet. _

“Let’s sleep?” The keyboardist asks after the kiss.

“But you need to finish your outline first.”

“It’s okay,” he flashes a tight smile.  _ I just want to take this chance to hold you longer. Just in case you’d be done with me and you’d go back to him,  _ he wants to say but just gulps the words down. “I’ll just wake up early tomorrow or finish it tomorrow night.”

“You sure?”

The brunette gives him a peck. “Mhm.” He nods.

Jae, with a wide smile plastered on his face, he carries Wonpil--bridal style--to his (more like  _ their) _ bed. If it’s just any other night, Wonpil would have probably laughed already the moment Jae lifted him up but there’s a disturbing pang sitting on his chest so he just rests his head on the older’s shoulder.

The guitarist puts him down carefully and instantly plants kisses on his lips consecutively before situating himself beside him. Jae slides an arm under the younger’s neck and the latter immediately scoots closer to the older. As the guitarist drapes an arm around the younger, so does Wonpil; so they’re both hugging each other as they lie down. Wonpil looks up for a second and Jae instinctively gives him a peck.

“Goodnight,” the older smiles and the younger responds through tightening his hold of him.

The next day, Jae flips the door of the club room open and Younghyun instantly looks at him. The latter sees how Jae scans the room and how his face lights up when his eyes land on Wonpil. They both exchange a sweet smile before Jae fully enters the room.

Dowoon walks toward Wonpil’s side to play the keyboard as they wait for Sungjin when he sees the mark on the keyboardist’s neck. Wonpil instinctively covers it and unconsciously glances at Jae, who is playing it cool--biting his lower lip to prevent a smile from forming as he plays a melody with his guitar. Younghyun saw it though--the subtle glance Wonpil made. And he knew right away that it was caused by the guitarist. His tongue touches his canine tooth as his jaw tightens.  _ So, they’re on that stage already, huh? _

The door opens again and all of them look toward it. Sungjin walks in and Professor Lee is following behind. They greet each other good afternoon and without further ado, Mr. Lee asks about the progress in finding a new bassist.

“I talked with Sammy again earlier,” Jae answers. “He said he’ll try asking Jaehyeong but warned me that he might turn down because he wants to focus on getting high grades, too.”

Their adviser nods. “Just be sure to get a final response from him within this week. You need to finalize your performance because the event is nearing. If Jaehyeong would decline, maybe we could ask Younghyun to play?”

They all flip their heads toward the former bassist, who’s already showing an ‘x’ sign through his forearms. “Sorry, I might not be sticking around too much the next days.”

Woomin shifts his eyes to Sungjin. “Or we could re-arrange the music, too.”

Jae’s eyes are still on Younghyun and Wonpil sees it. He averts his gaze right away to ease the tiny piercings he’s feeling his chest.

“Or I could play the bass,” Jae suggests, this time looking at Lee Woomin. “Then Sungjin could still continue with the guitar. Or vice versa.”

They continue to discuss about it before they practice.

 

“Bri, wait!” Jae instantly exclaims before the bassist can leave the room after the practice. Jae walks toward Wonpil first and whispers, “Go ahead without me.” He then strides toward Younghyun. “You free?”

The bassist glances at Wonpil, who’s making himself busy with the keys as he tries his best to ignore the two of them, before he hesitantly responds, “No, something matter?”

“Nothing,” Jae shrugs. “Wanna grab a snack?”

“Only if it’s your treat.”

“Okay, sure.”

With knitted eyebrows, Younghyun nods. “You sure?”

“Yeah.”

-

As they arrive at The Daydream Cafe, Huiryoung instantly flashed them a smile. “It’s only you two?”

“Yep, Jae’s paying.” The bassist beams.

The lady in front of them looks at Jae with a doubtful look. The guitarist chuckles. “Why are you giving me that look? I can pay.”

Huiryoung chortles, too. “Just kidding. So is it Iced Americano with an extra shot and Strawberry Smoothie?”

“Yes, please.”

After taking their seats, they talk about music and the upcoming event. They share some memories they’ve had with Lee Woomin, too. Also, they reminisce about how they used to practice and spend time in the club room. Not long enough, their drinks are ready to be claimed from the counter.

“Why won’t you stick around too much the next days anyway?”

Younghyun shrugs. “To prevent myself from hurting?”

Jae furrows his brows. “What? Something’s been going on lately?”

The bassist leans back and gazes at him for a moment, playing with his straw. “How are things going between you and Wonpil?”

The guitarist didn’t see that question coming. Still, he answers, “Great. I always look forward to seeing him.”

“But you’re already roommates.”

“Yeah,” Jae chuckles. “I don’t know. I still get excited just by the thought I’d see him. Like when it’s time for practice or go back to the dorm.”

Younghyun remembers how Jae’s eyes automatically tried finding Wonpil earlier. He just slowly nodded and let out a heavy sigh. “Then I guess I really wasted my chance, huh?”

“Bri…”

“Can I just be totally honest, Jae?” He sips from his Americano before continuing. “I loved you--not just as a friend. And I most probably still do.” He moistens his lips. “The reason why I vanished was for me to have a clear mind and be clear with what I was feeling, too. I was also afraid that it might ruin us. Well, I did  _ ruin  _ us.”

“That’s not true.”

Younghyun folds his lips together, causing them to form a thin line. “It’s okay. I’m just saying this to let you go. And to let myself be free.”

They spend another hour talking. In the end, as they thank one another for the transparency and for the friendship, they give each other a hug--as a closure, maybe; to put the past behind and go on with what’s happening with their lives now--not knowing that someone is walking toward the cafe and sees them enveloped in each other’s arms.

-

When Jae is about to open the door of their dorm, he’s expecting to see Wonpil facing his notes. So when he flips the door open, a smile instantly forms on his face when he guessed it right.

He immediately strides toward the younger to enclose him in his arms and kiss him on the cheek. “So diligent, are we?”

As soon as Jae’s arms wrapped around the keyboardist, he felt a load put on his chest. The image of Jae and Younghyun hugging enters his mind. He puts his arms around the older to hug him back but he holds him tighter than the older does to him. He situates his head on the nook of Jae’s neck.

“You okay”

Wonpil folds his lips together and nods. “Just stay.”

He only mutters two words, making the older think to stay hugging him, but his mind continues:  _ Just stay with me. Don’t go back to him. Don’t leave me. Just stay, let’s just stay like this.  _ But then again, images of Jae looking at the bassist and their hug keeps on slipping his mind.  _ Even just for tonight, just stay with me and make me feel that it’s only me--that it’s me and not him. _

Jae tightens his arms around the brunette and kisses the top of his head. “You sure you okay,  _ Babe?” _

Wonpil’s eyes instantly flip open, a little bit surprised by Jae’s endearment. It’s the first time he was called by that by the older. He doesn’t know what to feel. He feels like melting but the heavy load on his chest keeps bugging him. It’s bittersweet again.

Jae loosens his hold of the younger for a second and leans back to take a better look at the brunette. His hand travels to Wonpil’s chin to make him meet his eyes. Jae gives him a peck and shows a soft smile. The keyboardist feels a sudden tug in his chest. And despite the aching of his heart, he stares back at the older and plasters a smile, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More revelation of Jae and Younghyun's conversation on the next (and probably the last) chapter. I didn't put their whole conversation here. It will be revealed as a flashback in the next chapter.
> 
> Again, I didn't proofread so please excuse the mistakes. hehe ^^v  
> scream at me  
> twitter: @kohiiby  
> cc: daelisix


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